


brawling love

by putative



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Brief Violence, Internalised Homophobia, M/M, Mental Illness, it's not as bad as it sounds i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 14:59:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6244330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/putative/pseuds/putative
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've been in this situation before. He'll either hit him again or he won't. He'll kiss him or he won't. It's a waiting game and it will be Dennis that makes the choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	brawling love

**Author's Note:**

> O brawling love, O loving hate,  
> O anything of nothing first created!  
> O heavy lightness, serious vanity,  
> Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms!
> 
> Probably out of character and terrible, I apologise in advance.

Dennis was pacing. It was just after eleven, some shitty action movie playing in the background. Mac wasn't paying attention. He was watching him, fists balled up by his sides, muttering to himself, he wouldn't interrupt.

It was only a matter of time really. Shouting, screaming, broken glass on the floor. It could end in blows, bruises and cut lips, it often did. He could leave of course, but he won't, he never does. He won't leave Dennis alone, not when he's like this. There's no telling what he would do without someone around. He needs him here, whether he admits to it or not.

He's in the kitchen now, one hand sliding along the counter top, one in his hair. Pulling at the strands, smoothing them back down, his muttering getting louder. He's agitated, anxious. He's still pacing.

Mac hasn't moved from his place on the couch, his gaze still following his friend around their apartment. The apprehension is getting to him now, waiting is the worst part. 

There's no point in trying to calm him down, not now. It's past that point, before the pacing began, but Mac wasn't here then. He was at the bar, Dennis hadn't checked in, he came home and neither of them have said a word since. Breaking the silence would only make matters worse.

He was back in front of him now, a sheen of sweat on his forehead. He was still pacing and Mac was still waiting.

It took a further ten minutes for things to escalate. It was the shouting, the aggression. He hates Mac, he's a little bitch, he's worthless, he fucking hates him. This is the worst part, not the fighting and the blood, but this.

It doesn't affect him like it used to. By now he'd probably be trying to hold back tears, and Dennis would be laughing. Instead he's just sat there, looking at Dennis. His hair is a mess, eyes large and full of fear. He wants to grab him and tell him that it's okay. This isn't his fault, it's okay. He wants to hold him and sort his fucking hair out, smooth it down and tell him that he forgives him. He can't help it, he still loves him anyway.

"Stand up! Defend yourself!" He's close to screaming now, the neighbours are probably used to this. He'll stand up, but he won't say anything back. He won't shout, he won't tell Dennis how much he fucking hates this, how even though he's used to it, he can't stand it. He won't tell him how selfish he's being by not taking his medication, or how worried Mac is all the time. He won't tell him any of that because it's not what he wants to hear, he probably wouldn't listen anyway.

When he does stand up, it takes a fraction of a second before Dennis has his hands on him. He's pushed up against the wall before he has a chance to think, this is what he's been waiting for. A fist lands on the side of his jaw, not particularly hard, more like a cry for attention than anything else.

"Look at me, Mac." He's not shouting now, there's no need, with the small space between them. His hands on either side of his face, his jaw tender. Dennis looks less frantic than he did only seconds before, he's breathing heavily and he looks tired. Eyes heavy but staring into his own like he has all the answers.

They've been in this situation before. He'll either hit him again or he won't. He'll kiss him or he won't. It's a waiting game and it will be Dennis that makes the choice. It's happened twice before, and now his heart is beating twice as fast and he's starting to panic. It's like fight or flight, he could make the first move but he doesn't want to get this wrong. Doesn't want to be punched in the face. Doesn't want to see the look on his bestfriends face.

It feels like they've been stood there for too long, like something should have happened by now. Dennis' breathing is getting easier and and he still hasn't taken his eyes from Mac's. It feels like the end of the show but something's telling him that it's only just begun.

He'd hardly processed the thought before his friends lips were on his. It wasn't like last time, it was rough and rushed and all teeth. This time, his lips are soft and inviting and Mac doesn't hesitate before kissing him back.

Dennis' hands go from his face to his shoulders, down to his waist where he pulls them both together. Mac's mind hasn't caught up yet, he doesn't know where to put his hands. He didn't, couldn't resist when Dennis' tongue entered his mouth. This was new, they hadn't done this before, and now that it was happening he couldn't remember why.

Hands were going under his shirt, sliding up his back, he couldn't suppress the shiver that ran down his spine and the whimper he released when a knee slid between his legs. They'd hardly done anything and he was already hard. He was starting to feel brave now, this was happening and Dennis wanted it to happen. He put a hand in his friends hair and tilted his head for a better angle, he was starting to take control when he pulled away.

"Bedroom, now." His voice was strained, pupils blown and lips swollen and wet, he looked beautiful. His heart was racing. Dennis is his bestfriend, his bestfriend that he loves and he needs and more than anything, he wants to ruin and keep for himself.

Before he knew it, they were in Dennis' room and taking each other's clothes off. Exchanging kisses, hands were everywhere and he could hardly believe it. Dennis was led on his back on the bed and Mac couldn't breathe.

He didn't have time to think this through. He wanted Dennis, has done for longer than he cares to remember, that's all he knew and he was ready to run with it, no matter the consequences.

He was hardly on the bed before hands were pulling him down, he was on top of Dennis and back to kissing him within seconds. "I want you to fuck me." Was the last thing he was expecting to be mumbled against his lips. He pulled back half an inch to properly look at his friends face.

He had never done this before. He would never allow himself, it was wrong and he wasn't like that. There were so many reasons to stop this right now, to leave and clear his head and act like it never happened. So many reasons, and none were good enough for him to leave this position. Dennis wanted him and right now, that was enough.

"Mac?" He was running a hand up and down his thigh, a soothing gesture. It sort of felt like his heart was going to explode inside of his chest. "You don't want this?" He sounded quizzical. He'd never known this amount of patience from Dennis before. 

He did the only thing he could think of, he kissed him. "I want this." His voice was small, unsure almost, but it was the truth. They broke apart momentarily so that Dennis could take what he needed from the bedside drawer.

He pushed Mac up off him so he was in a kneeling position before spreading his legs and slicking up two of his fingers. "You haven't done this before, so just watch." So he did. He watched as Dennis put the first finger inside of himself, he gasped and closed his eyes, Mac could hardly believe what he was seeing.

He put his hands on Dennis' knees, spread his legs open wider, he couldn't avert his eyes, watching him fuck himself with one finger, then two, he wasn't sure if he was actually going to last long enough to get inside of him.

He slid his fingers out after a few more thrusts and opened his eyes to look at Mac. "Im ready, fuck me." His voice was demanding, strained, he couldn't think of anything else he'd rather be doing if he was honest with himself, and he rarely was.

He picked up the condom and lube from next to Dennis, and positioned himself so that his face was inches from the boy underneath him. He needed a minute, this was all going so fast, he'd hardly processed anything past the kiss against the wall. He was obviously taking too long, Dennis brought his legs up and kicked Mac in the ass, his arms gave out and he fell on top of him. The laugh that escaped him surprised him, Dennis was smiling, shaking his head. He felt like a teenager, it was fucking ridiculous.

"Hurry up asshole," Mac rolled his eyes before getting back into position. "I don't have all day."

When Mac first pushes into Dennis, it's slow and deliberate. He's so tight and hot, if he doesn't take it slow he probably won't last. When he bottoms out and lands on him, Dennis releases a whine high in his throat. He has to give himself a moment to regain his composure before bracing his arms either side of Dennis' head. He pulls out and slams back in which makes the other man moan, eyes squeezed shut and mouth hanging open.

"Fuck, Mac, again." It was a command more than anything else, and Mac was more than willing to obey. 

They fell into a rhythm after that, hard and fast. Kissing and biting at each other's lips. It was sinful, pure filth,it was both wrong and right but he needed it all the same.

Dennis came first, with a hand wrapped around his dick and Mac's name on his lips. That's what finished Mac off, hearing his name said like that, from Dennis of all people, like he was made for this, like they both were.

His heart was beating erratically, they were led side by side now. They were both yet to say a word, instead listening to the sound of their own laboured breathing.

There was a part of him that regretted everything that just happened. The part of him that stopped him from looking at Dennis for too long, or any man for that matter. The part of him that knew this was a sin, he was sinner and he'd crossed the line he promised he never would. He'd prayed a countless amount of times, it didn't change anything. Now he was feeling guilty and he wasn't sure if he should anymore.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a lighter, Dennis was smoking. He looked incredible, something he said without really thinking about it.

"You're not too bad yourself." He was smirking, or smiling, one of the two. He found that he didn't care too much about which at the moment.

He wasn't sure how they got here. The pacing, shouting, half assed attempt at fighting. Kissing, fucking, lying side by side in Dennis' bed, neither of them making a move to get up. He didn't know how they got here, but he knew they couldn't ignore it. It would change nothing or it would change everything, Mac found that at the moment, he didn't much care.


End file.
